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11:37pm 07/11/2007
  i think im finally ready to confront what i left behind.  
     

(and the glass shatters)
 
   
07:37pm 05/11/2007
  this whole not drinking think is working out for me. i think im getting smarter, and skinner, and less crazy.

i hate my job, im so fucking over it. half the people i work with piss me off cause they are dumbasses, a third of the people still treat me like im 15, and a handful i adore.

i cant deal with it anymore, today i just kept to myself and ignored all of the d-bags and everyone kept asking me if im ok.

i love school, its alot of work, but in the end it will all be worth it. its not that its difficult its just that its time consuming, i feel like i have no life.

i need to do laundry.

ive been sewing alot lately, and not just because of my construction class. But because i love it, so expect some uNit shit soon.

<3		  
     

(and the glass shatters)
 
   
10:15pm 30/10/2007
  day 2. this is a piece. ahah  
     

(1 scream | and the glass shatters)
 
   
10:04pm 29/10/2007
  im taking a break for a while, ive gotten drunk and done stupid shit a little too much lately. so no more drinking for me, i need to focus on school, and stop drinking as a way to avoid things i dont want to think about.

the first step is admitting you have a problem.

my name is kiara, and im an alcoholic.

today is day 1.		  
     

(and the glass shatters)
 
   
07:55pm 29/06/2007
  Everytime i go to enc to visit things are either really awsome or really shitty. they were shitty this time, really shitty. I was sick, then i hurt my neck really bad and then jeff and i broke up...GREAT! Just FUCKING GREAT!

Things were bad for a few days, we talked last night for like 2 hours and again this morning and worked our shit out, so we are ok now. Its just weird to know that things will be different between us from now on. Today i wanted to call him sooo bad and just thought that it would be inappropriate or weird, he ended up calling me, and it was slightly less weird than i thought it would be. Everything will work out, were working on being friends with eachother. Jeff and I have such a strange understanding of one another that i think things will be ok between us, they kind of have to be because of our families, so if its not i can fake it till i make it...i guess.

i seriously cant wait to leave mammoth, i am counting down the days. excluding today 9, i work the next 8 days straight but i could use the money. i need to pack, and i think i royal fucked up my moms truck. ill see what some magic can do.		  
     

(and the glass shatters)
 
   
03:06am 23/06/2007
  My alcohol tolerance is wayyyy toooo high. I have issues.

I never write in this anymore, maybe i should, or shouldnt. I suppose the only time i ever do is when i have some kind of shit going on and i have that attitude of "ahhh life!" that makes me want to get together and talk about the modern age.

It feels good to be back in encinitas, but weird at the same time. Everything is the same but different in ways that are hard to explain.

I also cant sleep, it seems as if insomnia has returned. Im tired but as soon as i get home i cant fall asleep. im wide awake till 5am, watching gilmore girls on dvd, i would take tylenol pm but those are addicting, and drinking away the part of the day i cannot sleep away not only is cliche but wont solve my drinking problem either.

FUCK im tired.		  
     

(and the glass shatters)
 
   
08:40pm 13/05/2007
  yay!! i love my new macbook pro, its beautiful!  
     

(1 scream | and the glass shatters)
 
   
10:49am 04/05/2007
  Its nearly 4 am and I can't fucking sleep! I'm tired, it just won't happen. I'm kind of hungry too. Its snowing, I love the snow.  
     

(and the glass shatters)
 
   
07:57am 30/04/2007
  So as i sit here NOT doing homework, i discover im sitting near a skeezy highway patrol man and that im really excited about the book, ive been working on and will probably never finish.

Life is great! I only work one day a week...what the hell am i talking about, im nearly broke right now. AHHH Life! I think i may go out to the flats with ericka and sun bathe in our jobless patheticness. or possibly hide under my houndstooth blanket and watch movies/knit/paint for the next 6 days. maybe squeeze in some studying or job searching(not likely.)

So fishing season has started, old pervy men have come to town. On the mountain, are the cheap annoying gapers.

blah		  
     

(and the glass shatters)
 
   
04:06pm 27/04/2007
  i feel like im having an anxiety attack, whatever those are like. im sitting here attempting to study and im freaking out. i cant concentrate, im having trouble breathing and whenever i look outside i feel like a car is going to come crashing in through the window.

i need a break from life. i want to not have to worry about things anymore, im tired of stressing about the future, about moving back to san diego and what will become of certain relationships (ahem, jeff) and my avoidance of the inevitable. ahhhh die!!!! i need go visit darcy and be retarted and bullshit, that will make me feel better.		  
     

(1 scream | and the glass shatters)
 
   
07:52pm 21/04/2007
  Does the weather always seem to reflect my current emotional state? Or am i just completely hysterical? lj used to be my outlet, and where i would write my stories for the lariat. There were no boundaries and i could always copy/paste to word to check my spelling. I need to work on my book, its going to be a best seller. I am accepting the fact that i now define a starving artist, even if im not hungry.

ahh life...		  
     

(and the glass shatters)
 
this shits funny!   
10:05am 10/03/2007
  Posh Spice's diet: Coke and soy beans
(Bang! Showbiz)
Updated: 2006-11-15 16:50

Victoria Beckham survives on Diet Coke and low calorie snacks.

The former Spice Girl - who allegedly boasts a 24-inch waist - stays thin by never allowing herself to eat proper meals, instead choosing to nibble on selected foods.

A source told the New York Post newspaper: "Victoria maintains her tiny frame because she only permits herself to snack on edamame - which are fresh soy beans - pretzels and occasionally sushi.

"She only drinks Diet Coke and has even admitted she hasn't drunk water in years because she 'hates the taste.'"

It has also been claimed that although Victoria had been helping new friend Katie Holmes lose her baby weight in time for her wedding to Tom Cruise, Katie refused her advice because she couldn't hack the strict diet.

Meanwhile, Victoria - the wife of football superstar David - recently revealed she had to have her hair cut short because her extensions kept falling out during sex.

She said at the time: "I was in the heat of passion and my hair extensions would come out - it was so embarrassing!"		  
     

(and the glass shatters)
 
   
06:30pm 24/02/2007
  could the new shins album be any better?? love!  
     

(and the glass shatters)
 
   
08:00pm 17/02/2007
  i was listening to minus the bear today and was inspired by this song, i dont really know why, but i painted a kick ass painting...its not quite done yet but will be soon

Absinthe party at the fly honey warehouse

Hey, lets cross the sea
and get some culture.
Red wine with every meal
and absinthe after dinner.
We'd look good side by side
walking back to the hotel.

We've got to get something
to eat and to drink yeah,
and find a place to stay
that's not far off the main way-
we've got to plan our day;
Rodan and the Orsay.

and find a way to cram it all in
before we drink hard again.

Let's get a bottle and drink alone tonight

'This light looks good on you,'
morning came early.
Sitting on a park bench
that's older than my country.
Two star hotel
near St. Germain.
Two star hotel
where the stars don't mean anything.		  
     

(and the glass shatters)
 
   
12:40pm 14/02/2007
  unit is making a return!! new shit to come soon. i promise. im in a creative mood.  
     

(and the glass shatters)
 
   
11:29am 14/02/2007
  I miss e-st cafe. The chatter is different in a starfucks than it is there, and you have to pay to use the fucking internet. its a joke! ill be back soon tho! im moving back to enc for school, i miss it too fucking much.

i think i enjoy people watching too much. this guy shaun i work with at said i should be an image consultant, im freakishly good at picking apart why people suck and how they can fix it. ahh im over this shit.		  
     

(3 screams | and the glass shatters)
 
   
08:07pm 18/01/2007
  i need a fucking time machine. this isnt worth 13.25 an hour...im tooo fucking bored!  
     

(and the glass shatters)
 
   
05:03pm 12/12/2006
  Just let me fucking die already.please.  
     

(1 scream | and the glass shatters)
 
   
09:10am 30/11/2006
  Is doing things passionatly and whole heartedly a crime?
There are times when I do things half assed, but I'm whole hearted when I'm half assing.		  
     

(1 scream | and the glass shatters)
 
   
04:56am 29/11/2006
  Ok, so maybe I don't have esp like I thought, maybe I'm just really ridiculously good at reading people. Anyways I fucked up! Like majorly fucked up, I don't even know what to do, I act to quickly and don't think about things beforehand. Darcy, I could really use you right now!  
     

(1 scream | and the glass shatters)
 
 
ladygrenade
 
 
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